Lord Spencer Kirby

Have I blogged about my wonderful kitty cat, Lord Spencer Kirby? He is, without a doubt, the best kitty who’s ever owned me. He was born May 15, 2002, which makes him 9 ½ years old. He was 3 ½ when we got Shelby, and he was 5 ½ before he semi-accepted her coming to live with us. Spencer has “mitten paws” also known as “polydactyl”. Zactly – that’s why I like “mitten paws” better. We believe Spencer to be part Maine Coon breed due to his beautiful markings on his side and tummy. He is very talkative, mainly because I trained him as a baby. At least I take credit for it.

When I get home from work, Spencer calmly sits by the basement door as I walk in. He looks up at me and blinks sleepily, all the while pretending to be uninterested in my arrival. When I take Shelby out the back door, he meanders over to the door and watches while we are outside. When we come back in, he waits until the last possible moment to move out of the way of the dog charging through the back door. Then he resumes his guard by the basement door. At this point, he might look up at me and meow while I feed the dog. I like to think he is saying, “Hi Mommy, welcome home”. But more likely he is saying, “enough with the dog, what about me?” After feeding the dog, I always look at him and say, ok Spencey, let’s go downstairs! That always gets a resounding “Mwor”.

We head downstairs where he promptly flops over and wants his belly rubbed. I stop to pet him, all the while telling him what a sweet boy, how much I love him, how pretty he is, etc. While I get his food down, I ask him about his day and he chatters back with me for as long as I ask everything in a question tone. Then I head over to his litter box to take care of it.

Now that I have described our daily routine, I feel you are adequately prepared for me to share what happened the other day. Anita, my girlfriend, and I decided to celebrate her birthday by getting pedicures. So I was hurrying through my daily “critter chores”. Skip to the part where Spencer received an abbreviated belly rub, feeding, etc. I arrived at the litter box. And that’s where this day differed from all the others. With one hand, I was holding a plastic bag to put the litter in. The other hand was in stuck in mid-air because of the location of the scoop. It was in the center of the litter box. Yes, you read that correctly. And in addition to being in the litter box, he had pee’d perfectly in the scooper, making the litter form around the scooper.

Now, before you read the next part, I need you to realize that on this day I was a "woman on a mission" to take care of my pets and be on time for My. Pedicure. Appointment. Ok?

So, as I stared at the scooper, I knew I had to make the difficult decision to pick it up. (Oh yes she did.) I picked it up, and had to bang it inside the plastic bag until the formed litter came off, and then finish scooping. All the while I was thinking, I hope he had realllllly good aim and none of it got on the handle, none on the handle, none on the handle. I ran upstairs (yes, ran) and threw away the bag. The scooper was still in my hand. I ran into the bathroom and pulled out about 4 Lysol wipes and started scrubbing the handle. Thinking that would not be enough sanitation, I then proceeded to scrub it with about 2 ounces of Bath & Body hand soap (Nectarine Mint). I laid it out on 2 paper towels. Then I washed my hands with approximately 4 ounces of same soap. Ugh. I finished grabbed my keys and headed out for the appointment.

Before I left for the appointment, and while I was washing my hands 6 times, it dawned on me: perhaps I should have used any one of the 67 plastic bags that are next to the litter box to pick up the scoop (refer to above “now, before you read the next part…”). It also dawned on me that my mitten paw friend was so talented to somehow put his scooper in the litter box. I even left Dwayne a note telling him how talented our youngest son was that he tried to scoop his own poo. I fantasized that I would never be put in a nursing home because if my super smart and talented kitty could scoop his own poo, there was no telling what else he could do.

I was so proud of his accomplishment that I shared the story with Anita during our pedicure (we talked about way grosser stuff during that appointment but that’s an entirely different blog). She was quite impressed as well, and felt that I was no longer headed for the nursing home.

Upon returning to the home of the most talented cat ever, I asked Dwayne if he had read the note. He had, and he proceeded to bring me right back to earth leaving the fantasy in a galaxy far, far away. It seems the night before, he had been sweeping up around Spencer’s box. We have a mat next to the box where we lay his scooper. Dwayne had picked up the mat to sweep up litter, and the scoop must have fallen in the box. I texted Anita and told her the nursing home was back on. She called to console me.

He’s still a very smart and talented cat. He’s not “save me from a life in a nursing home” talented, but he’s better than average for sure.

My Sister Was Right

So this past Spring I planted two big planters with various flowers. I went to Lowes and just picked out the things I liked. I put a big spikey grassy thing in the center, alternated some tall red & white thingys and tall purple thingys around the spikey grassy thing. Around the border I planted some vinca vine and petunias.

At first I didn't think that I had enough plants in the planter, but when, my garden expert sister, Karen, saw them at the beginning of June, she said they were fine. She also said that the tall red & white and purple thingys (she called them some kind of horticultural smarty pants plant name) attracted hummingbirds. I laughed out loud, saying that we have never seen hummingbirds around our yard. In fact, I knew that I had never seen a hummingird in real life - only in pictures.

I spent the rest of May protecting them from getting too much rain. Neither planter seemed to be thriving even though I went the extra step of buyng the fancy schmancy potting soil that all but guaranteed I would be a gardenista.

Well, we left on vacation, and forgot to ask Brian to water the plants while we were gone. Fortunately, between Brian & his Mom, they kept the big planters and other plants all watered and well cared for. When we returned from vacation, I was pleased to see that the planters had loved the hot weather, and filled out quite nicely. Everything was taller, bushier and looked exactly like I had hoped it would back in May.

Fast forward to tonight. Everyone knows, I love my Wheel of Fortune. But lately, I haven't had time to watch. Well, tonight we were watching Wheel, the letters were called for the bonus round puzzle, and the contestant was trying to figure out the phrase. Something caught my eye, breaking my Wheel concentration, out the back door window. I turned to look outside, and saw at first what I thought was a dragonfly-esque kind of thing flitting around - but on 2nd look, discovered it was a HUMMINGBIRD!! Flying! Around my tall purple and red & white thingys! In my big planters! On my back porch! A hummingbird! My sister was right!

I think that makes this a great day. Yep, I know it does.

Bar Keepers Friend. Its a strange product. Not strange in how it works or how you use it. But strange in its name. Now, I'm not saying I have spent a lot of time in bars, however, I have spent enough time to know this. I don't recall them spending a lot of time scrubbing the sink. But rather, I recall them spending a lot of time serving drinks. Wouldn't a better name be "Maid keepers friend"? For example, take "Scrubbing Bubbles". Its all right there in the name. Nothing misleading. I'm just sayin.

And then I showed my husband the first paragraph. APPARENTLY, the reason its called bar keepers friend is because back in the day when the glasses would "sweat" and leave rings on the bar, this product is the only thing that would remove the rings. Am I the only person who didn't know this? Dwayne is so smart.

My Mom'isms

My Mom had some very catchy phrases or sayings...and I'm sharing them below. These have become affectionately known as "My Mom'isms". ~Enjoy~




You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink...but you can make him wished he had.


There's no such thing as a little bit pregnant.


Followed closely by, No, you can't get pregnant from a toilet seat.


Also followed by, You never joke about being pregnant.

You will never have a better friend than your Mother.


You never get over losing your Mother, it just gets easier.


Let me tell you about my grandchildren.


Grandchildren are my reward for surviving 4 teenagers.

Don't wait until Mother's Day or my birthday to come see me. I'm your Mother all year long.


That sink better not have a dirty dish in it when I come downstairs tomorrow morning. (My brother, Larry, can vouch for what happened if there was.)


I may be old-fashioned but I'm not out of date.


The older the buck, the stiffer the horn.


Quit sittin there with your teeth in your mouth, get up and help me.


Call before you come, I might be chasing your Dad around naked.


You never lack for something to pray about.


There's no excuse for being dirty; a bar of soap is not that expensive.

Marriage is not 50/50 - it's 100/100.


You can't spoil a baby by holding it. Hold them while you can.

Children step on your toes when they are little, but they step on your hearts when they get older.

Let's give this house a lick & a promise. (Translation: Let's clean the most necessary spots and promise to do a more thorough job next week.)

I don't care what your brother/sister said - I love you the most.

Trick or Treat night pet peeves

So, I'm wondering, what are your pet peeves when you hand out candy? Because tonight we had a few parents that made us shake our heads.

As Shelby is barking ferociously and lunging, parent sends her 4 year old straight for the dog..."Does your dog bite?" Ummm, shouldn't that be a question you ask BEFORE you send the kid up to try to pet her? We should let her bite you just for being stupid. In Shelby's defense, she was not herself tonight, she was pretty upset by the kids. Normally after a few kids come by, she calms down, but not tonight. So after about 20 minutes of not getting her calmed down, and numerous parents sending their children past me halfway up the driveway to attempt to pet a barking dog, we decided to put her back indoors. Which didn't make her any happier but probably saved us from a lawsuit.

How about the drivers that live in our neighborhood that apparently don't know its Halloween? I mean, is 40 mph an acceptable speed when there is a street full of toddlers hopped up on sugar in masks they can't see through? Unbelieveable.

And I love the parents who question whether or not you gave their child a piece of candy as they are walking away. Lady - seriously - even if I DID cheat your kid out of a piece of candy - they have enough in the bag for you to eat when they go to bed later. We don't buy crap candy and we don't skip kids. Even the ones who show up wearing street clothes and no costume.

Don't get me wrong, there were lots of perfectly lovely children & responsible parents who visited us tonight. A couple little cuties got 2 pieces of candy just because :-)

Until next year...I'm just sayin...

The end of October...Boo!

Wow, end of October? Seriously...

Took my first "Spin" class this morning. For those of you who don't know what a "Spin" class is, its an aerobic bicycling class. Fifty-six minutes of cardio and 4 minutes of cool down. I enjoyed the class very much, I can't remember when I sweated that much, and I enjoyed it even more when I checked my "Calories Burned" to find out I burned nearly 800 calories in one class. I did not, however, enjoy the bicycle seat. At all. El-Nadda. My girlfriend Patti mentioned that she felt like she was recently married. If I have to explain that comment it loses effect. Speaking of my girlfriend, I worked out with her & two other girlfriends, Sheila & Sharon. Sheila has been taking Spin class for a while, and Sharon went to a couple classes earlier in the week. Patti & I thought we would try it out to see if we liked it. If you are having trouble getting to the gym to workout, I highly recommend the buddy system. And here's why. No one wants to be "that person" who doesn't make the class after talking the other 3 people into getting to the gym by 9am on a Saturday morning. I was there at 10 'til just to be safe. I kind of cheat though. Dwayne works almost every Saturday so it makes it easier on me to get out of bed.

So...what's been happening since my post in July? August came & went too quickly. I was quite proud of myself for pulling off the BEST BIRTHDAY GIFT EVER for my wonderful husband. His oldest niece, Rachel, is quite the photog...so she took some candid, casual, outdoor photos of Aaron & Maddalyn. She took some great pictures, and I put together my first scrapbook (think entry-level). I think the kids loved having a secret surprise for Dwayne...and he really enjoyed the scrapbook. The icing on the top was that the pictures were taken by his niece. I know! I did good, right? LOL, I even thought of it by myself.

The kids went back to school in August, and brought to an end the wonderful summer we enjoyed with them. They were both in/out of the house alot this Summer. We got to know their cousin, Ian, and spend some time with him also. The house feels very alive when they are here, thats for certain. Now that Aaron is driving, we've started meeting them for dinner mid-week. Dwayne & I have really enjoyed this extra time with them, and we look very forward to it. Its hard to believe that Aaron is a junior and Maddalyn is in 7th grade.

We took a week of vacation in August and tackled several projects around the house. I probably couldn't prove it in a court of law, but I think Dwayne might have tried to kill me that week. Just sayin...

I feel like I blinked and September was gone. My youngest niece, Allison, turned 11 years old. ugh. Where did THAT time go? Shelby turned 5 years old in September. I honestly credit that dog with bringing me back from a very dark place after my Mother passed away. When she was a puppy, in January & February after Mom was gone, she would lay in my lap while I cried and give me kisses. She has definitely lived up to her namesake. Shelby Lou Sebastian Moyer Kirby.

October brought beautiful Fall colors...and allergies...ahhhh, allergies. I can't imagine how different my Springs & Falls would be without them. Last week, Dwayne & I took a few days off together...tackled some light-weight projects compared to August. Yes, that would be 2 vacations spent at home. Why, you ask? Because of the latest Kirby Household Expenditure. New furnace, new air conditioning and new hot water heater. Yes, the big 3. All at once. The furnace was a "must replace" due to pin-holes in the heat exchanger. Apparently, it is a big enough gas hazard to blow the house up. Greaaaatttt. The water heater was on it's last leg for sure, sometimes in the morning the water would take a long time to get hot. So, we vacation at home. Sometimes we just hold hands and look at the new furnace. Or, weather permitting we go outside and stare at the A/C.

So on Monday, I'll celebrate my 45th birthday. I could go on and on about how at 45 I've seen phones go from rotary, to push button, to big car phones actually installed in the car, to cell phones small enough to fit in my pocket. Or how I remember a time when popcorn had to be fixed on the stovetop. But what I will say instead is, I am at a point in my life where I am starting to think about and hope for the things I will see happen in my lifetime. A cure for cancer. An end to terrorism. Grandbabies. Retirement with my partner and best friend, Dwayne. A future trip to Alaska. And if I could offer advice to those in their 20s and perhaps their 30s: it only goes faster as you get older, and yes it will all eventually start to sag. Don't spend anymore time worrying or wondering what others think. They aren't thinking about you. Embrace and love the body the good Lord gave you and be thankful for every day he gives you. Someone once said I should dedicate an entire blog to my Mom'isms, phrases or things that my Mom used to say. So here's an important one. One Sunday afternoon she & I were driving to a baby shower. We passed by a funeral home where a funeral was taking place. As we drove by, I said, oh look Mom, there's a funeral going on today, that's sad. She said, yes, at the end of the day, I never ask God for another day, I thank him for the one he already gave me.

Here's hoping it won't take me another 3 months to post again. TTFN.

It's been a while

Since my last post, I've had several ideas for blogs...but none have really moved me to actually type. LOL

A couple weeks ago, I was thinking about updating my blog, and I thought a good subject would be about my memory (or lack thereof) and the fact that I can't remember when I had a good memory. Which was laugh out loud funny to me. But what's funnier is the fact that I forgot to blog about my forgetful memory. I just re-read this paragraph and laughed again.

Earlier today I was thinking, wow, where have June & July gone? Later I looked at the wall calendar in our kitchen, and I figured out where it went. We spent many days & nights with family & friends...as it should be.

I've really been missing my best friend, Krista, I don't know if its because her birthday is coming up or not. Its been waaaaaayyyy too long since we've seen each other, 19 months to be exact. Thankfully, we live in a technological age where I can have almost instant updates of her and her family...and the pictures are great, but they also make me a little sad that I'm not there in person.

This weekend is supposed to be Dwayne's weekend off, but he is working overtime. Don't get me wrong, we are very thankful for the $$$, but its our pre-anniversary weekend :( See you in 6 weeks, honey. I scheduled a vacation day for today and decided to keep it because I needed a sanity check. I read a little of my Martha Stewart Living magazine, but it wore me out just reading about all the crap I should be doing. So I took a nap.

They were supposed to re-pave our street today. Excuse me, not re-pave, but "apply slurry seal". The instructions were to remove your cars to a neighboring street before 730am. I'm a rule follower. I did that. I put off going to the grocery until tomorrow because I didn't want to lug the groceries back to our house. It's now 7:00pm. Haven't seen a drop of slurry. grrrr.

Why do you suppose the heat & humidity bothers me here at home, but when I'm in FL at the beach for a week I feel fine?? hmmm...Dwayne seems to think it's stress-related, niceeeee...only how many more years until retirement?

Does anyone else think the Orkin Pest Control commercials are positively creepy & gross? I know that's what we are supposed to think bugs are gross so we will call them up and have them come and spray, but I always hit mute as soon as it comes on. Oh, and the wart remover commercials are gross too!

We recently discovered that we like the Summer series tv shows better than the Winter. On TNT, "The Closer" and "Covert Affairs", on Fox "Lie to Me" and "Good Guys", on USA "Royal Pains" and "White Collar" and on ABC "Boston Med".

Well, I will sign off for now. We're going to head to the grocery store in case the Slurry mobile shows up in the morning.