Trick or Treat night pet peeves

So, I'm wondering, what are your pet peeves when you hand out candy? Because tonight we had a few parents that made us shake our heads.

As Shelby is barking ferociously and lunging, parent sends her 4 year old straight for the dog..."Does your dog bite?" Ummm, shouldn't that be a question you ask BEFORE you send the kid up to try to pet her? We should let her bite you just for being stupid. In Shelby's defense, she was not herself tonight, she was pretty upset by the kids. Normally after a few kids come by, she calms down, but not tonight. So after about 20 minutes of not getting her calmed down, and numerous parents sending their children past me halfway up the driveway to attempt to pet a barking dog, we decided to put her back indoors. Which didn't make her any happier but probably saved us from a lawsuit.

How about the drivers that live in our neighborhood that apparently don't know its Halloween? I mean, is 40 mph an acceptable speed when there is a street full of toddlers hopped up on sugar in masks they can't see through? Unbelieveable.

And I love the parents who question whether or not you gave their child a piece of candy as they are walking away. Lady - seriously - even if I DID cheat your kid out of a piece of candy - they have enough in the bag for you to eat when they go to bed later. We don't buy crap candy and we don't skip kids. Even the ones who show up wearing street clothes and no costume.

Don't get me wrong, there were lots of perfectly lovely children & responsible parents who visited us tonight. A couple little cuties got 2 pieces of candy just because :-)

Until next year...I'm just sayin...

The end of October...Boo!

Wow, end of October? Seriously...

Took my first "Spin" class this morning. For those of you who don't know what a "Spin" class is, its an aerobic bicycling class. Fifty-six minutes of cardio and 4 minutes of cool down. I enjoyed the class very much, I can't remember when I sweated that much, and I enjoyed it even more when I checked my "Calories Burned" to find out I burned nearly 800 calories in one class. I did not, however, enjoy the bicycle seat. At all. El-Nadda. My girlfriend Patti mentioned that she felt like she was recently married. If I have to explain that comment it loses effect. Speaking of my girlfriend, I worked out with her & two other girlfriends, Sheila & Sharon. Sheila has been taking Spin class for a while, and Sharon went to a couple classes earlier in the week. Patti & I thought we would try it out to see if we liked it. If you are having trouble getting to the gym to workout, I highly recommend the buddy system. And here's why. No one wants to be "that person" who doesn't make the class after talking the other 3 people into getting to the gym by 9am on a Saturday morning. I was there at 10 'til just to be safe. I kind of cheat though. Dwayne works almost every Saturday so it makes it easier on me to get out of bed.

So...what's been happening since my post in July? August came & went too quickly. I was quite proud of myself for pulling off the BEST BIRTHDAY GIFT EVER for my wonderful husband. His oldest niece, Rachel, is quite the photog...so she took some candid, casual, outdoor photos of Aaron & Maddalyn. She took some great pictures, and I put together my first scrapbook (think entry-level). I think the kids loved having a secret surprise for Dwayne...and he really enjoyed the scrapbook. The icing on the top was that the pictures were taken by his niece. I know! I did good, right? LOL, I even thought of it by myself.

The kids went back to school in August, and brought to an end the wonderful summer we enjoyed with them. They were both in/out of the house alot this Summer. We got to know their cousin, Ian, and spend some time with him also. The house feels very alive when they are here, thats for certain. Now that Aaron is driving, we've started meeting them for dinner mid-week. Dwayne & I have really enjoyed this extra time with them, and we look very forward to it. Its hard to believe that Aaron is a junior and Maddalyn is in 7th grade.

We took a week of vacation in August and tackled several projects around the house. I probably couldn't prove it in a court of law, but I think Dwayne might have tried to kill me that week. Just sayin...

I feel like I blinked and September was gone. My youngest niece, Allison, turned 11 years old. ugh. Where did THAT time go? Shelby turned 5 years old in September. I honestly credit that dog with bringing me back from a very dark place after my Mother passed away. When she was a puppy, in January & February after Mom was gone, she would lay in my lap while I cried and give me kisses. She has definitely lived up to her namesake. Shelby Lou Sebastian Moyer Kirby.

October brought beautiful Fall colors...and allergies...ahhhh, allergies. I can't imagine how different my Springs & Falls would be without them. Last week, Dwayne & I took a few days off together...tackled some light-weight projects compared to August. Yes, that would be 2 vacations spent at home. Why, you ask? Because of the latest Kirby Household Expenditure. New furnace, new air conditioning and new hot water heater. Yes, the big 3. All at once. The furnace was a "must replace" due to pin-holes in the heat exchanger. Apparently, it is a big enough gas hazard to blow the house up. Greaaaatttt. The water heater was on it's last leg for sure, sometimes in the morning the water would take a long time to get hot. So, we vacation at home. Sometimes we just hold hands and look at the new furnace. Or, weather permitting we go outside and stare at the A/C.

So on Monday, I'll celebrate my 45th birthday. I could go on and on about how at 45 I've seen phones go from rotary, to push button, to big car phones actually installed in the car, to cell phones small enough to fit in my pocket. Or how I remember a time when popcorn had to be fixed on the stovetop. But what I will say instead is, I am at a point in my life where I am starting to think about and hope for the things I will see happen in my lifetime. A cure for cancer. An end to terrorism. Grandbabies. Retirement with my partner and best friend, Dwayne. A future trip to Alaska. And if I could offer advice to those in their 20s and perhaps their 30s: it only goes faster as you get older, and yes it will all eventually start to sag. Don't spend anymore time worrying or wondering what others think. They aren't thinking about you. Embrace and love the body the good Lord gave you and be thankful for every day he gives you. Someone once said I should dedicate an entire blog to my Mom'isms, phrases or things that my Mom used to say. So here's an important one. One Sunday afternoon she & I were driving to a baby shower. We passed by a funeral home where a funeral was taking place. As we drove by, I said, oh look Mom, there's a funeral going on today, that's sad. She said, yes, at the end of the day, I never ask God for another day, I thank him for the one he already gave me.

Here's hoping it won't take me another 3 months to post again. TTFN.

It's been a while

Since my last post, I've had several ideas for blogs...but none have really moved me to actually type. LOL

A couple weeks ago, I was thinking about updating my blog, and I thought a good subject would be about my memory (or lack thereof) and the fact that I can't remember when I had a good memory. Which was laugh out loud funny to me. But what's funnier is the fact that I forgot to blog about my forgetful memory. I just re-read this paragraph and laughed again.

Earlier today I was thinking, wow, where have June & July gone? Later I looked at the wall calendar in our kitchen, and I figured out where it went. We spent many days & nights with family & friends...as it should be.

I've really been missing my best friend, Krista, I don't know if its because her birthday is coming up or not. Its been waaaaaayyyy too long since we've seen each other, 19 months to be exact. Thankfully, we live in a technological age where I can have almost instant updates of her and her family...and the pictures are great, but they also make me a little sad that I'm not there in person.

This weekend is supposed to be Dwayne's weekend off, but he is working overtime. Don't get me wrong, we are very thankful for the $$$, but its our pre-anniversary weekend :( See you in 6 weeks, honey. I scheduled a vacation day for today and decided to keep it because I needed a sanity check. I read a little of my Martha Stewart Living magazine, but it wore me out just reading about all the crap I should be doing. So I took a nap.

They were supposed to re-pave our street today. Excuse me, not re-pave, but "apply slurry seal". The instructions were to remove your cars to a neighboring street before 730am. I'm a rule follower. I did that. I put off going to the grocery until tomorrow because I didn't want to lug the groceries back to our house. It's now 7:00pm. Haven't seen a drop of slurry. grrrr.

Why do you suppose the heat & humidity bothers me here at home, but when I'm in FL at the beach for a week I feel fine?? hmmm...Dwayne seems to think it's stress-related, niceeeee...only how many more years until retirement?

Does anyone else think the Orkin Pest Control commercials are positively creepy & gross? I know that's what we are supposed to think bugs are gross so we will call them up and have them come and spray, but I always hit mute as soon as it comes on. Oh, and the wart remover commercials are gross too!

We recently discovered that we like the Summer series tv shows better than the Winter. On TNT, "The Closer" and "Covert Affairs", on Fox "Lie to Me" and "Good Guys", on USA "Royal Pains" and "White Collar" and on ABC "Boston Med".

Well, I will sign off for now. We're going to head to the grocery store in case the Slurry mobile shows up in the morning.

WORST Spider experience EVER

I went to lunch a few weeks back with Ron & Heidi. We rode in Ron’s van, and I sat in the front passenger seat. We pulled out of the office parking lot, and were about 1 block away from the office when I saw it. It came crawling up out of the defroster and was moving across the dash. All of a sudden, there was lots of blood-curdling screaming (which I later found out was all me). Before Ron could get the van pulled over, I had ripped off my seatbelt, opened the door, and was diving out of the van. Note to self: next time, wait for the van to come to a complete stop. As I stood on the side of the road, still jumping and flipping out, Ron & Heidi went to work trying to kill the spider. He kept returning to the defroster, peeking out, going back in, and so forth. Finally, it was determined that he had gone back in and was not coming back out – I have no idea how this was determined, I never saw any written agreements exchanged. We climbed back into the van, me in the back seat this time, and Heidi in the front seat. We tried turning the defroster on high at both temperature extremes, but no luck flushing him out. I called Ed at the office to make sure he was “on-deck” to come pick me up if the spider reappeared. By the middle of my meal, my heart beat had returned to normal, and I had mostly forgotten about the spider. That is, until we left. As we walked back out to the van, my heart starting pounding so fast that I could hear it in my head. Once Ron opened the van, I gave him ample time to do a “spidey-check”. He suddenly started jamming a business card down in the dash as spidey had returned. Again, no luck killing the *&^%er. Somehow, and I’m not sure how, I managed to get back in the van and head back to the office. On the way back, we discussed all of our options. One of them being, we would all exit the van and then somehow cause it to plow into the side of the building, thus causing the corporate fleet people to replace Ron’s van. This seemed like the best option to me. Ron, however, seemed to think the better option would be for me to just not ride in his van until he had killed the spider. This might also be a good place in the story to point out that while I maintain the Spider was the size of a penny, Ron felt it was much smaller.

A few days go by, and Ron is in the office again and stops by my desk. He mentions that “Herbie” had reappeared. The fact that he had named the spider should have been my first clue that he was still alive. Ron said that while he was driving, Herbie came crawling up out of the defroster once again, and sauntered across the dash. He commenced to playing “wack a mole” on his dash board trying to kill Herbie. Mind you, Ron was DRIVING when this occurred. Again, Herbie survived.

Now, I know some of you might be thinking – wow, I’m sure she is not even remotely entertaining ever riding in this van again. And you are mostly right. But it is what I learned today that made me absolutely certain, 100%, I will never ride in that van again. Today, Ron informed me that while he & his wife, Clara, and their daughters, were visiting their son in Chicago over the weekend, they encountered Herbie’s Mom. Herbie’s Mom was crawling along the back of Ron’s front seat while he was driving, and Clara reached up and brushed her into the floor. If you are wondering if she killed Herbie’s Mom, no, she did not. I stared at Ron in disbelief that she had not taken the perfect opportunity to kill the (*&^er. I politely informed Ron that if we lunch together again, I will be driving.

It's my blog so I can talk about Jesus

We are doing a really interesting sermon series at Church right now, "Who is Jesus?" It's really interesting to me, and it is as eye-opening for me as reading "The Shack" again. Not eye-opening like - I've never heard this before...maybe more re-affirming, or renewing. I know there are people who think Jesus does not exist, or perhaps they think there is "something" out there, but they don't want to "label" it. I mean let's face it, if you claim you are "agnostic", you simply don't want to get off the fence and commit to anything! For me personally, I've always believed in Jesus, and believed in Heaven. I'm not saying there weren't times I faltered, and times that I doubted he cared about me. But last Sunday at Church, I heard something that has stayed with me. I heard that even though there is lots of physical evidence that Jesus exists, there will always be people who can poke holes in that evidence. And there is part of "believing" that is not intellectual (the physical evidence), but it's just something you feel in your heart - you just know. Wow, so this means I've felt this in my heart for a long time - how awesome is that! People come to believe in Jesus at different times, perhaps during a life changing moment such as the birth of a child. Or maybe they believe he exists, but the "knowing" comes later for them. I just hope that if you haven't already experienced your "moment", that you will seek me out, and let me share some of my experiences, my faith, and my journey thus far.

Random

Men are funny. Let's say that one of them offer to help you do something. Then you have someone else help you do that. The original man still wants credit for offering to assist in the first place. Please don't take this the wrong way. I'm not criticizing and it's not something that's irritating. I actually find it kind of amusing.

Why do contestants on the "Wheel of Fortune" always use all their money asking for all the vowels in one spin? I've never understood that. It's one thing to ask for a couple of vowels, but when you ask for all of them, and then spin a "Bankrupt" on your next spin, you've just saved your fellow contestant all that cash. And lets face it, more often than not, this is what happens. I'm not sayin, I'm just sayin. I've watched "Wheel" a time or two and this is what I've observed.

My nephew, Joshua, is getting married this weekend. Should be big fun. It will be nice to get all dressed up as a family and get a few pictures. Why don't we do this more often? Aaron & Maddalyn have changed so much since the last time we had formal pictures made of them.

Ok lady. All the vowels are gone - spin or solve. OH LOOK - BANKRUPT! Imagine that. What's that? Yes, your fellow contestant just won! Is "Professional Wrestler" really an occupation?

Review of this week

The thing that made me happiest this week - spending Easter with my family, especially my step-children.

The thing that made me saddest this week - when they all went home.

Most ridiculous thing I saw this week - Kate G's Paso Doble dance on DWTS.

Most hilarious thing I saw this week - Jimmy Fallon's version of Kate G's Paso Doble.

The thing that occupied my mind this week - My best friend's son turning 11 years old on the same day he was competing in Regional Gymnastics meet. I remember when he turned 2. :)

Spider Incident #246

Most people know that I do NOT like spiders. My friend at work, Ed, knows this well. He sits only 2 cubicles away, and has heard the screams when I make a "discovery". The other morning as I walked into the back door at work, I looked down on the handrail, and there's a HUGE web with an even BIGGER spider inside! It didn't occur me until now, but for whatever reason, I went into "stealth" mode - and entered the back door as quietly as possible...apparently somewhere in my subconscious I think that spiders can hear. I made it to my desk, sans spider, and started my day. Somewhere around 9am or so, I asked Ed if he saw Mr. Big Spider when he came in the back door. No, as it turns out, he didn't. Apparently, he didn't have his Black Belt in the Obvious that day because that is the ONLY way he could have missed Biggie hanging on the handrail right next to the back door. Anyway, we opened up the back door and he saw Biggie hanging on the handrail. He picked up a plastic, stick-like thingy, and knocked Biggie to the ground below the landing. But he didn't stop there, oh no. A lesser Hero might have, but not Ed. He asked if I was OK with Mr. S being knocked to the ground, to which I replied NO! So he went down the stairs and found a rock, and squished Mr. S not once, but twice. I asked if he was going to perform the customary 2 squish, 3 flush - but he informed me that he was not inclined to scrape spider guts up off the cement. Nonetheless, Ed saved the day, and I don't forget people who perform selfless acts of Spider Removal. Thanks Ed, ur the best.

Funny things I heard this week...

Niecy Nash on DWTS: "I want to keep all my jiggly parts."

A co-worker who couldn't reach anyone in one of our sales offices at 820am: "What are they doing? Taking a Holy Day of Obligation?"

Anything on Big Bang Theory & Marriage Ref.

Heard on HGTV's House Hunters: We want to buy a vacation home in...(wait for it)...Downtown Louisville.

Officially Spring time - but also Officially Spider time

I am truly, very happy to see Spring arrive. However, I'm not looking forward to the return of spiders. Thinking about that this weekend reminded me of a horrible incident about this time last year...I found this while cleaning out some emails this morning...I had sent the details of this incident to Jim at work who feigns concern for my spider incidents but is secretly amused by them.

I went to the garage to retrieve a bucket to wash the patio furniture. As I'm walking back into the house from the garage, I looked into the bucket and saw a spider. I did not scream, although I'm not sure if I piddled or not. The piddling could have occurred during what took place next. I shook the bucket a little to see if it was dead or alive. It crawled around. This time I screamed and bolted thru the door into the house. Coming into the house, I tripped over the dog (who follows me everywhere). As I was tripping, I conveniently snagged the handle of the bucket onto the top of the stairway post. This caused me to have a sudden stop which was not good for the dog who was in 4-wheel drive at this point. As I'm trying to avoid her nose going any further into my rear end, I lunged out of the way and smacked up against the laundry room doors, which by the way, really hurts. We both paused for a split second, and then I dashed into the hall bath and promptly dumped Spidey into the toilet. I flushed the customary 3 times, and calmly went on about my chore.

I'm just sayin'...

A bunch of people have urged me to blog. Ok, maybe not a bunch. But several have. (3 counts as several, right?) Anyway, so here it is. First & foremost, thanks to Heidi (at work) for helping me set this thing up. She knows I am not lying when I say - there is no way I would have figured this out on my own. Even as I type this I have no idea if I'll actually be able to post it when I'm done. And even if I'm able to post it, I have no idea if you'll actually be able to see it. By the way, visit google sometime. Click on the "more" button at the top of the page. Seriously, its like a whole 'nother world of google! I never knew until today.

So, I check something off on my "Things I Want to See Before I Die" list tonight. Dwayne took me outside to see the Space Station go flying by. How cool was that?? So now we can say that we've seen the Space Station and the Space Shuttle flying by in the sky. And might I add - they were screamin' fast! And then I made the mistake of asking why they were going so fast. "Waaam Waaam Waaam Waaam Waaam they have to stay in orbit Waaam Waaam Waaam Waaam". Does everyone else's husband know this kind of stuff or I am just the luckiest girl in the world? And how is it - he could remember #1 - what time it was going to be buzzing our house, and #2 - why it goes so fast - - but he can't remember important stuff like - - well, you know where I am going with this. Honestly, I love that man with all my heart.

I especially love him for having a smile on his face when I got home knowing full well that we were "spring"ing into cleaning tonight. It's that time of year where furniture gets moved and you vacuum underneath, dust the ceiling fans...you know - Spring Cleaning. And it makes me wonder, how can we put a man on the moon (or space station) but we can't make a cobweb resistant entryway light? Do the martians in outer space have the same issues? How about spending some of that research grant money on designing a miniblind that repels dust? Ooooo - here's a thought - I wonder what would happen if I wiped down the mini-blinds and the entryway light with a Bounce dryer sheet since they are supposed to repel lint & hair. And how about instead of window panes that keep the heat/cold in/out, how about glass that repels dog slobber and cat nose prints? Because I'm really not that chilly in the Winter when I have a hot, soapy dish rag and I'm rubbing the crap out of my back door glass. I always make sure I sit down and look out the door right after I clean it. Because at any minute, Shelby & Spencer will meander over to the back door and discover that they can see outside again (now that the film is gone). And the vicious cycle starts all over again.

Which reminds me, I'm mad at Dawn Dishwashing Detergent. And here's why. I made up a small bucket of warm dish soap. I don't care what anyone has told you. This is the best, most economical way to clean your front storm door glass that has winter goop all over it. First, I open up the front door, I wipe a spot off of it, but once that's clean I notice 3 other spots, and once those are gone, I notice...well, you get it. As I'm cleaning the front door (keep in mind I haven't even gotten to the storm door yet), I make a mental note that wouldn't it be nice to have a nice Spring-y wreath to hang on the front door for Easter? But as I'm thinking of this, I'm trying to figure out how to do this but not cover up the door knocker, which by the way, is beautiful. I make another mental note to measure the space between the hook that's already there to hang a wreath on, and the door knocker.

Ok, moving on to the storm door glass. I wash down the door and get down to the door jam. Now, its not like Dwayne & I are "perfect" or spotless people. But how in the h*&& does our door jam get that disgusting when we don't even use the front door? I really should get a toothbrush and clean that crap out, but we only gained one hour of daylight last weekend and its not all going to my front door jam. So I move on to the outside of the storm door. I streeeeettttcchhhh to reach to top of the glass and get that cleaned in record time considering how long it took me to get to this point. I stand back to admire the shiny, streak-free glass that Windex only promises. But that shiny, streak-free glass is only making the dirt all around the door stand out more. But before I clean that, I should probably wipe down the siding around the door since its filthy, clean the porch light glass, all the while making a mental note to talk Dwayne into removing the porch lights and garage lights when it's warmer so they can be re-painted and properly cleaned. I step down off the front porch to survey my rockin-clean porch when I notice dirt all down the porch post - and I am saying things under my breath that completely remind me of my Mother like - for Heaven's sake how in the world does dirt get all up and down this post well it looks like some fool has just walked up and splattered a cup of coffee all down my porch post (for those of you who knew her - you know this is what she would say) and its at that exact moment that I step back and look at what I've been scrubbing off the porch post. Man, am I glad I wear gloves. But you have to admire a bird that is "that talented". I do hope that bird feels better because that was just not normal.

So, why was I mad at Dawn dishwashing detergent?? Oh wait, I remember, because even though my front door and glass and porch enclosure and porch post might be clean, I now need to buy some kind of spring-y wreath or floral thingy, I have to throw away a pair of rubber gloves because they have been bird poop-ized, and every time I pull in the driveway I will be looking at the porch and garage lights!

In closing, lots of things got cleaned tonight (thanks again honey), and I got to start my blog. I look forward to sharing a few spider incidents (because they are just around the corner), Curves Girls Nite Out stories, and I'm sure lots of stories about Shelby & Spencer, and much, much more.